Personal Lifestyle and Relationship

Lost in Life...

2010-09-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

Blog, OH blog, please tell me what am I supposed to do? I feel so lost, lost in a path we are known as the Path of Life. What am I supposed to do? I don't even have the mood to play computer games, no appetite to eat and worst come to worst, I don't have the strength that I need to survive. I feel like I am a dead zombie, walking on this Earth.

I am in debt with two Tel Companies, mainly M1 and StarHub. They declined my offer of installment paying, and StarHub even sending back my file to legal officer of Starhub company to take legal actions, to sum up everything, they adding two thousands on top of my outstanding bills!! I know I have been neglecting the payment for months, but I really have no choice. I feel like a wanted man running away from reality. Please tell me, how to get back to this place called REALITY??

Everyday at home, my mum will sure to nag at me for hours, with me just sitting there listening to her and doing nothing else. It is not that I don't like her nagging (which is partially untrue), it just that I have got really tons of emotions coming through my head and tons of troubles that I have landed myself in to settle. I don't even have the courage to face my parents. I know I have been a disgrace to my family, to owe two mobile phone companies for such a large sum of money.

I tried to ask for help. My parents refused to help. They do not have that much money and they even said that even if they have, they will not lend a helping hand to me, because they have still got my younger siblings to take care of. I am falling, falling into a hole so deep that I could see the light distancing itself from me, with nothing to stop my fall. I really don't know what to do. Every night, I don't sleep that well, waking up with a bad headache, just by thinking about this matter. I really don't know who can help me now.

Oh GOD, if you really are a helping Father, please help me out this once. I do not want to face the consequences of me neglecting my bills, nor do I want to disgrace my family name. What can I do with my bank a negative, even worst than just a S$1 in bank!!! I have learned my mistakes and it is of a very large sum that I know I will have to burden it with me. I really don't know what to do. Maybe I really should sign on as a regular, but I don't like the life in camp. TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEASE!!!!!

My girlfriend went to celebrate her grandma's birthday tonight, and I was being chased out of her house by her mum. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I need a map but I could not get my hand on me. I need a street lamp, but it won't work for me. I really don't know what am I supposed to do. I feel like dying, but dying does not solve things, it makes things worst.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

Back to Singapore...

2010-09-24T00:56:00.000-07:00

Whoa! I never believed that I'll be able to get back to this country!! It has been weeks or months since I last blogged. Today content will not be about relationship or love, but it will be about the time that I was in Palau Tekong - the land of the military 'dogs'.

Why I use the term 'dogs' is because as a recruit there, we are being treated worst then a dog. The sergeant and officers want you to do this, you do this, do that and you suffer from all the torture. The types of torture are that of leopard crawling through wet mud that smelt like shit, and leopard crawling on rocky and stony paths.

Everyone got heat rashes till now not completely recovered. When sweat, it caused itchiness and when there is fiction, like back-sling of rifle, it caused extensive pain shooting through your spine. The feeling is so strong that you got the urge to tear off your skin...

Palau Tekong is a nice place, but the weather is terrible. You add 2 degree Celsius to the Singapore temperature and you get their weather. Especially during the afternoon time, it is hotter than you can imagine. Life in jungle is not fun at all, running up the slope, wondering whether there will be any wild boars round the corner when you turn. I actually is afraid of that, really.

There was a particular night whereby a wild boar went into our harbour area - area that we set up our place to sleep in for the night. It got attracted by the smell of rubbish, would you believe that??!!! But the wild boar does not scared me, it just seemed amused to me. It is like so cute, brown and wild, yet it actually got accustom to human's presence in their territory. What would happen if there is actually tigers or lions? I bet the military will use all firer's techniques to captured those man-eating beasts...

The most fun part is the Urban Ops. It is like playing computer games, except that now I am the player and my superiors are the one controlling me through the 'screen'. So fun!!! But please...NO MORE FIELD CAMP FOR ME!!! I HAVE GOT ENOUGH!!!!

No Title

2010-01-17T19:45:00.001-08:00

This particular post got no title not becuase I lazy to type it in but it is becuase there is basically nothing to be the title of this post. I actually wondering this: Must girls really drive guys crazy to actually know that they have gone aboard? Can't girls behave just like normally what they do before they are in love, as in their natural self?

I know my darling is someone that wants super lot of attention, and I never let that affect me, even though I am someone that wants to have lesser attention to my name as possible. I have bad fame for Primary and Secondary school years (11 Years in total) and that is already enough for me. Fame is nothing but just an accessory to me, neither a want nor a need.

Why girls like attention? I recently just found out from someone close to me that girls like attention, especially to draw attention of opposite gender to actually make comparisons. However, must there be comparison when you are together? I truly don't think so. Just what are girls really thinking about?

I am about to be due for NS soon, really soon. Before I go into the "death cell", I actually want to see my darling settle on how a full-time job or at least pick up a skill. I am afraid that without me by her side, she will not have enough capital to have her favourite pastime - that is to sit at coffeeshop and smoke Maboro Ice Blast. I will miss her very badly.

Time with my darling is always very short, as both of us are working part time, and I am having full time education. I also worry about my darling's spending on her mobile phone as my pay has simply melted away in the stack of up-rising bills. When can I actually enjoy my payday a bit, just like past time, when I got my pay, I could at least afford a good meal and a cab home per month, but now, I doubt I can even find it.

I played Sushido with my darling just now and found out that she is having a bad headache, which cause her to lose her touch. I gave her chances to make combos but she missed all of it and I am very worried about her health. Given the state she is in now, I don't know how long more will she need to quit her smoking urge.

I am longing to see my wonderful darling and hope that time without her can fly faster and that time with her can actually freeze in the process. I really cherish the time with her and I cherish more on the memories that we create daily, the miracles that we faced each day. I just want her to know that I really love her truly, deeply, madly.

Love and Hate

2010-01-17T16:37:00.000-08:00

I tell you this particular fiction story regarding love and hate. Love and hate were originally siblings, both caring for each other. Hate did not like love, as love always get all the attention while hate did not but yearned for. He started to set traps to actually kill his own brother, Love.

I am telling you this story because that is what happening daily, in both your's and mine daily world. You can see couples walking so happilly, so peacefully this minute and the next, you can see couples breaking up and crying and weeping and scolding and beating. Why make your life so miserable and upset when you can choose to lead what you want for your life?

Show you this particular case that I actually saw with my own eyes, that was happened last year. I was at the rubbish dumping area where I witnessed this bad relationship. The girl was all tears and was beating and slapping the guy, insisting that he return all her money to her and wanted the security officer to call the police. Not only that, they even fight in the middle of the road. If love can actually lead to hate, why do people still want to love?

Look things on the bright side, no matter how bad things look, they will have a bright side of it. Just like sunlight and moonlight, both opposition yet so close to each other that time actually does it's part to give them the space to show themselves to us. Never say things like the old Desmond has gone and will never return. Even spiderman returns, so don't be silly as to say things like that.

Love is a relationship that never stops moving, while hate is a feeling that never stops growing. Letting go your hatred and you can actually find your love, letting go your love and you will eventually lost yourself in the midst of nowhere, just where my friend is now. Letting go is not easy and simple as eating lunch and dinner, but no matter what, it is still the best medicine for the heart.

Everything leads to more of that particular things, just like when you are in love, your partner will want more love from you, till you have nothing much to give. Hating someone will actually distant yourself from that someone, and you will never find anything useful in helping yourself to make friends with that someone you hate.

No matter what tones your relationship or friendship ends on, tells yourself this that you have not give in your effort and will work harder to show that you actually learn from your mistakes and will never make the same mistakes again. Just like my girlfriend always says to me that I always make the same mistakes as one of her best friends' boyfriend. I tell myself no matter what happened, I will never make the same mistakes as him and I will prove it to my girlfriend by showering her with more love, concern and less worry and anger.

I am not an expert in love matters, you may be one, but when you are not careful, you may find yourself lacking behind. I say all these because I actually spent all my free time with my friends, especially my girlfriend. I am proud to say that I am in love with my best friend--that is my girlfriend.

Remember:

NEVER SAY DIE

With this, I think I should end my blog post for today. I will blog more regularly so don't worry, you will hear from me soon. Good day and Good luck to your's blessed relationship!!!

New Me, Newer Me, Newest Me

2010-01-16T05:45:00.000-08:00

Basically, there is no such words as newer and newest, it is just words that I came up with to make comparison on my past, my present and my future self. As all of you should know, no one knows what the future holds, and so do I. But believe in yourself and you will sure achieve your goals and be what you really want to be.

Firstly, the past me is nothing but some guy that do things individually. I would skip classes and hide inside the library or the PA Club room. However, this does not help me in anything, except for me to actually went into ITE, and I am basically proud to say that I am an ITE student.

Secondly, the present me has matured quite a lot. There is so much thing that an adult actually handles, and I once thought that being a parent is so simple. Now I know that being an adult has its advantages, that is to make your own choice, be it easy to make like what to eat for lunch, or difficult like how do I manage my time. However, being an adult actually is difficult as there is less personal space, because most of time you are basically working, schooling, dating, sleeping or eating. There is just 5 things you do everyday.

Thirdly, my future. Everyone will have a dream, be it big such as to be an entrepreneur like me, or be small like a lawyer, banker, etc. Dreams differ from one person to another, follow your dream, work towards your dreams. I am working towards my dreams, that is very greedy and very in-practical--to start a company that will one day become the biggest company in every country. You can ask how I do that, but one thing is, to become someone big, you will have to be someone small, someone that works and is employed by other people. Learn from experience and not to make the same mistakes that a lot of companies will make.

I bet you will question me on my relationship life, but there is nothing more I can tell and advice. This relationship is between me and my girlfriend, and it is very private to me as I want to keep all the memories intact. Remember, no girls will want to share things, like where they went with their boyfriend, with another girl. Girls are mentally-dependent on guys, that is why we as guys will have to work on both of our physical and mental strength, so as to let the girls you loved depend on.

Security to a girl in a relationship is ultra-important. They want to be protected from other factors, such as being harrassed by some passer-by. Remember, girls are also human beings and tends to cry more than guys, but no matter what, when you guys show your weakest point to a certain girl, that implies that you really love her a lot and will not hide your true feelings towards her.

Life is never simple, relationship is never hard to bond, friendship is not that easy to make, that is why we have to cherish every part of life, be it personal freedom or the time we spend with our close ones. Nothing is not forever, remember this, you create your own lifestyle, you create your own forever. Just like Yusof Bin Ishak, he had already passed on, yet you can find his face on Singapore Currency. It is just what you believe in and that you have actually achieve it.

To bond a strong relationship, you will need to cherish the girl or guy you love, compromise him or her weakness and compliment your own strength to his or hers weakness. Just like what Jesus said: "Should someone slap you on your left cheek, let him slap on your right cheek, to disperse his anger." It implies that you need to balance both your's and your girlfriend's weakness and strength.

I shall blog again real soon I think. But now it is time for me to go have my eyes closed for the night. An advice to you: "There is only 24 hours a day, no matter how fast or how slow you do things, there will still be 24 hours. Minus away your resting time, you only have a few short hours. Cherish it to its fullest." With this sentence of advice, I end my blog post for today. See you guys and goodnight!

Headache..Headache...More Headache

2010-01-15T09:03:00.000-08:00

Really very headache, very upset to see one of my closest friends so depressed. What really makes him becomes like what he is today? Is it really the side effect of friendship and relationship? If so, will I become what he is today?

Really ecstatic to know that he has finally gotten into a relationship, or should I say jump into the Love River. However, maybe he does not really know how to "swim" in this particular river where the tides are not stable. I personally do not really know what are girls really thinking of. Their mindset is really unpredictable. One moment they can be so in love with you and the next second you have become their nemesis. What is really going on in their mind? I really wish I could find out.

Personally, as someone in a relationship that is only after a year plus to put comments into blog to so-called coach the next generation is very weird, but really the new generation got to really understand what is the difference between love and like before going into a relationship, because if one party backs out, both parties will be hurt emotionally, and it is very unfair for the next person to woo the girl as there is a scar that is left behind.

Let me basically show it to you the stages when you are in a relationship:

Holding of hands
Kissing on the cheeks
Kissing on the Lips
Sex

See the four BIG steps? That is the very reason why I said that sex is the least important in a relationship. It is just something that you desire for, for some guys maybe you will feel horny when in the night and the wind is strong, but for others it might not be the same. And when you have sex with your opposite gender, please take note that they are NOT prostitute or gigolo, they maybe your life time partner and maybe not. Never tell them what to do, or ask them to do a particular something which they do not want to do.

Back to the topic, when you have broken up a relationship, no matter who igniates it, both parties will suffer. Now that my friend has suffered, I think he will not be in relationship for as long as his internal scar will heal. And yes, never console someone who has got a ended relationship, as he or she may actually do something that you might silly but if they do that, you will regret--that is committing suicide.

Some cases in the newspaper actually shows that the suicide cases among girls that has lost a relationship is higher than that of boys. Is that really evidence to show that girls are more into love than boys? I think not. I think that girls should make good use of their time to go think about something else, such as picking up a course or learn a new skills., instead of wasting time thinking why the guy left her.

Its late in the night, and I have got work to do tomorrow, therefore I have to say goodnight to you guys. I really enjoy sharing these advice with you guys and hope to get some feedback and comments as I am personally new to this topic -- Love and Relationship. Maybe next time I will talk more about myself. See you next time. Goodnight!

What is Love?

2010-01-12T19:08:00.000-08:00

Love is a kind of feeling towards the opposite gender (or in some weird cases - same gender). It is a mutual kind of feelings that is far more than the usual what we called Friendship. It does not contain the meaning that one can control the other party or let the other party gain control without your consent.

Controlling someone is not love, nor is it care. Just like one of friends. You can say he is being controlled by his girlfriend (in his terms is called darling, honey, whatsoever), but in realistic he is not being controlled at all. He is doing things according to his own will and not this girlfriend's will.

Let us take a look on another example. Last time, before my girlfriend was with me, she was with another boyfriend (for your information, I am rated number 7 in her boyfriend's list, not because of not good-looking or what, it is because of that I am the number 7 suitor to woo her). The boyfriend actually try to control by restricting her to certain things such as cannot meet this particular friends and must be home by a certain time.

Controlling someone will bring only fear to the other party. Do not attempt to control someone. Respect his or her freedom. Respecting each other's freedom will ensure that relationship can stay as long as the term called eternity.

Look on the bright side of things. Just because a girl you break off with a group of friends or just because that group of friends keep on making things difficult for you is not your wise choice. Friends should be rated once whereas girlfriend are to be ranked first. Rated and ranked are both different words. Unsure of the terms? Check the dictionary to improve your vocabulary then.

Everywhere I go, there just seems to be couples around, some holding hands, some kissing, some just, you know, hugging. Yes, hugging and kissing actually makes you closer to the other party then sex. I am not saying making love is not important, but having a healthy relationship should not only cover making love. Learn to be someone that can actually love a girl or boy without making love, as you just can't simply make love in public, right?

Everyone got their own explanations for LOVE. However, don't let the word affects your life. Live with it and let it be part of your lifestyle. Remember, it is your life, it is your fight. Choose your way in the path of your life and bear whatever consequences that comes with it. Just like my secondary school motto: Choose Wisely, Face Consequences Squarely.

Ok. Now everything should be in order by now, so let just say goodbye ok? Don't worry too much, you will hear from me soon, as long as my next off day is here! Good luck in your relationship and remember:

Don't regret!

See you

Is it really painful when ur in love?

2010-01-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

Someone told me this before, love is not a thing but more like a feeling. It is just a feeling towards which you express it conditionally and without wanting to be repaid. However, a friend of mine has actually crossed over this Love River and you know what lays ahead of him? The Death Bridge...

I won't be talking much about him in this blog, but however, there is a warning that he must heed-that is to learn to take things in his stride. When it is time to let go, let go. It is like flying a kite, the harder you grab the string, the easier the string will snap in your face.

You can ask why am i talking about love and relationship in this blog instead of normal activities I have with my girlfriend. I tell you the answer, it is to actually guide people that do not know what to expect when they are in a relationship. I was once like that though, but since 1 year has passed with my girlfriend, I have learned what to expect and how it is like to be able to reach someone, especially your loved ones, expectations.

When you are in a relationship, you need to know the following things:

The things your loved ones like.

The feelings of your loved ones.

To know these two things, you need to observe, do testing, memorising and of course, carry out the actual thing. Example will be like my girlfriend loves daim cake from IKEA (Tampines), that is why I will go try out the taste and the pricing before I make my choice of whether I should bring her go IKEA to eat daim cake once a week or once a month or even once in every few months.

Try to tolerate. Girls generally need attention and that she knows that you love her. How to express your love for a girl is a difficult task. Different girls may want you to express it differently, to her taste. But one thing about a girl is that the longer you spent the time with her, worrying about her, and knowing her better, the easier for you to actually ask her out.

Don't worry if you have failed at first, and don't give up. Giving up on someone you truly loved is a waste of your effort. Try to learn from the reason that you failed. Failing is not scary, it is just a road to success.

A success relationship can never be spelt without a "U". That is why you must cherish the time together with the person you love, and not quarrelling as and when you feel like it. It is childish quarrelling when you can actually spend this energy to plan how to make your date more happier, like where to bring her for the next date and what to buy for her.

Remember, a happy relationship will always have a "I", so just do your part well. In the event wherby the girl dumped you, at least you can face the mirror and said this to yourself : "At least I have done my best".

With this, I wish you guys out there, Good Luck! I shall see you guys again on my next visit to my Blogger. When will that be, I sincerely and truly do not know. See You!

New Me? Old Me? Modern Me?

2009-12-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

Very lonely today, with my wonderful darling away to celerate friend's birthday. Really don't know what to do, what to make things of, and how to kill this time.

Time together with my darling is not that long daily, but to me it is very meaningful. You don't see the same girl again and again without losing taste right? But you are wrong!!! I've been seeing my darling day after day, spend all my time waiting for her to end work, spend my time to accompany her, to chat with her, to show her some concern. Which guy will actually do it?

I'm not putting off the big bombs ("fang da pao"), but I've done all that I've and I should've done. I keep on trying my best to make good the words I promised to my darling. Tiring, yes, it is tiring. But the end result is usually the wonderful ones. Just imagine, a farmer plants wheat every summer, tough tiring he did not even complain once, and when spring comes, he can have tons of wheat to sell for money.

I would rather spend my time wisely than to be the old me, sleeping as and when I prefer and like, and sleep as long as I prefer. However, my darling has changes my lifestyle. From a lazy fellow who does not see the big picture to the current new me who sees everyday as a new challenge and to make do with whatever resource I have.

So what one got no money in a relationship? Love is not measurable in financial terms and is not even collaborative with financial terms. Yes, no money is unable to go have a nice and memorable date, like catching a romantic movie or going candlelight dinner with your girlfriend. But remember this, even if you have the money, the girl will leave you for sure too. Reasons? Easy logic.

What everyone, be it a male or female, need time for comfort, time to let out, time to have a shoulder to cry on. Who says being a male cannot cry aloud? Who says only females can go soft on guys while guys cannot? Everyone is the same. Females only need and require more attention than guys, as guys usually likes to do things independently.

I also a guy, but maybe a guy that has long been extinct. I treat with girlfriend with higher respect than one can ever get. I respect my girlfriend to the extend that I let her make the decision, should it big or small. Though my girlfriend is a smoker, but I let her continue instead of stopping her, because you just cannot stop a smoker from smoking in a day's effort. Imagine that you are having the same lifestyle on a daily basis, and someone comes around and tell you that you need to change your lifestyle, you just can't simply change it overnight.

Girls need to be doted on, remember that well. Just like how wedding goes, when the girl gets married, the girl's mum will splash a tub of water away from the door of residence where the girl once resides ("jiao chu qu de nv ren jiu xiang shi po chu qu de shui"). At home, a girl has to do housework, take care of everything, that is the reason why they need to be doted. No parents will bear to see their daughter marry to someone that won't cherish them, remember that as well too.

I've been with my girlfriend for the past 1 year, 1 month and 2 days, and we have never quarrelled once. Why no quarrels you may ask. The answer is pretty simple: why waste effort and time quarrelling on the time that is already so short? I rather use this effort to think of ways to please my darling, since she is always having a hard time in work or at home.

Life is never simple to someone with such packed schedule like me. I got to handle school work, part time work and still I have a girlfriend that I promised to see her on a daily basis. Everyday I got tons of things to complete, and everyday I wake up at 5.30 in the wee morning to board the bus to school, following by a MRT trip to work, and lastly to meet my darling for that few minutes. For that few minutes I have cherished with such care, love and attention that I never once say I'm tired and refused to meet her. Meeting her for that few minutes brings me close to her for even a 0.000001 inch I am contented.

Ok. Time for me to see sayonara...I hope to see you guys again pretty soon. But that will be my next off day. Which is when? I personally do not know. See you guys around!