Lost in Life...

Blog, OH blog, please tell me what am I supposed to do? I feel so lost, lost in a path we are known as the Path of Life. What am I supposed to do? I don't even have the mood to play computer games, no appetite to eat and worst come to worst, I don't have the strength that I need to survive. I feel like I am a dead zombie, walking on this Earth.

I am in debt with two Tel Companies, mainly M1 and StarHub. They declined my offer of installment paying, and StarHub even sending back my file to legal officer of Starhub company to take legal actions, to sum up everything, they adding two thousands on top of my outstanding bills!! I know I have been neglecting the payment for months, but I really have no choice. I feel like a wanted man running away from reality. Please tell me, how to get back to this place called REALITY??

Everyday at home, my mum will sure to nag at me for hours, with me just sitting there listening to her and doing nothing else. It is not that I don't like her nagging (which is partially untrue), it just that I have got really tons of emotions coming through my head and tons of troubles that I have landed myself in to settle. I don't even have the courage to face my parents. I know I have been a disgrace to my family, to owe two mobile phone companies for such a large sum of money.

I tried to ask for help. My parents refused to help. They do not have that much money and they even said that even if they have, they will not lend a helping hand to me, because they have still got my younger siblings to take care of. I am falling, falling into a hole so deep that I could see the light distancing itself from me, with nothing to stop my fall. I really don't know what to do. Every night, I don't sleep that well, waking up with a bad headache, just by thinking about this matter. I really don't know who can help me now.

Oh GOD, if you really are a helping Father, please help me out this once. I do not want to face the consequences of me neglecting my bills, nor do I want to disgrace my family name. What can I do with my bank a negative, even worst than just a S$1 in bank!!! I have learned my mistakes and it is of a very large sum that I know I will have to burden it with me. I really don't know what to do. Maybe I really should sign on as a regular, but I don't like the life in camp. TELL ME WHAT TO DO PLEASE!!!!!

My girlfriend went to celebrate her grandma's birthday tonight, and I was being chased out of her house by her mum. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I need a map but I could not get my hand on me. I need a street lamp, but it won't work for me. I really don't know what am I supposed to do. I feel like dying, but dying does not solve things, it makes things worst.

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

Back to Singapore...

Whoa! I never believed that I'll be able to get back to this country!! It has been weeks or months since I last blogged. Today content will not be about relationship or love, but it will be about the time that I was in Palau Tekong - the land of the military 'dogs'.

Why I use the term 'dogs' is because as a recruit there, we are being treated worst then a dog. The sergeant and officers want you to do this, you do this, do that and you suffer from all the torture. The types of torture are that of leopard crawling through wet mud that smelt like shit, and leopard crawling on rocky and stony paths.

Everyone got heat rashes till now not completely recovered. When sweat, it caused itchiness and when there is fiction, like back-sling of rifle, it caused extensive pain shooting through your spine. The feeling is so strong that you got the urge to tear off your skin...

Palau Tekong is a nice place, but the weather is terrible. You add 2 degree Celsius to the Singapore temperature and you get their weather. Especially during the afternoon time, it is hotter than you can imagine. Life in jungle is not fun at all, running up the slope, wondering whether there will be any wild boars round the corner when you turn. I actually is afraid of that, really.

There was a particular night whereby a wild boar went into our harbour area - area that we set up our place to sleep in for the night. It got attracted by the smell of rubbish, would you believe that??!!! But the wild boar does not scared me, it just seemed amused to me. It is like so cute, brown and wild, yet it actually got accustom to human's presence in their territory. What would happen if there is actually tigers or lions? I bet the military will use all firer's techniques to captured those man-eating beasts...

The most fun part is the Urban Ops. It is like playing computer games, except that now I am the player and my superiors are the one controlling me through the 'screen'. So fun!!! But please...NO MORE FIELD CAMP FOR ME!!! I HAVE GOT ENOUGH!!!!